Better Than Bananas
by CrazyChocolateGirl
Summary: Jack is back with the Doctor. Jack finds the regeneration so innocent until he stumbles upon something "interesting".


**Heyo! So my Mum took away my ipod, because I "need to get outside more". What the heck are you talking about, lady? I'm outside all the time! So, I decided to use the laptop (while being outside, haha loophole baby!) and type a 'lil something for you guys. And remember, I'm ****always**** looking for writing prompts so PM me if you have an idea that you're too lazy to write.**

**This story is in an alternate universe or summat where Amy and Rory eventually leave and Jack finds the 11****th**** doctor.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Capt PHS (me): Yeah I totally own all these guys. *points to tied up and gagged DW characters***

**Doctor: No you don't.**

**Capt: Do too.**

**Doctor: Do not.**

**Capt: Do too! How'd you get out, anyway? I could have sworn I handcuffed you…**

**Doctor: Easy. I have a sonic.**

**Capt: Dammit.**

Jack missed the old Tardis. Sure, the glass floor came in handy at times (cue perverted grin) but now the Tardis was even more impossible to navigate.

He finally gave in and decided to call for help, "Doctor? Where are you?"

After listening for a reply and only hearing the echo of his voice off the walls, he sighed and went on his way. Maybe he would get lucky and find one of those big 'you-are-here' maps. No such luck. He ran in and out of rooms at random, trying to find someone/thing that might aid him in his quest to find his way. At last, his rather pathetic attempts were rewarded when he finally managed to spot a room that he recognized.

"Damned new design", he muttered to himself as he walked into the Tardis kitchen.

"Ah, there you are!" the much-relieved captain exclaimed, spotting the Doctor hunched intently over an object at the kitchen table. Just as Jack craned his neck to get a look at the object, the Doctor looked up, startled, and immediately hid the object behind his back, blushing.

"Oh Jack! I didn't hear you enter! Soooo…. How are you finding the Tardis?" the flustered Time Lord asked, in a feeble attempt to draw attention away from whatever he had hidden behind his back.

"As confusing as ever", came the reply, " Whatcha got hidden behind your back?"

"Ermm…Nothing!" the Doctor oh-so-convincingly replied as he flushed a light pink and his eyes began to dart back and forth as though watching an invisible ping-pong match.

"C'mon, show me."

"I haven't got anything!"

"You know, this regeneration is terrible at lying. What were you doing?"

There was an awkward pause and then the now thoroughly embarrassed Gallifreyan muttered, "I was trying a lemon."

Jack, being the pervy fanfiction troller he was, gave the Doctor a rather fiendish grin.

"So, was it good?" he asked, smirking all the while.

"I didn't actually get the chance to start it but yeah, by the looks of it, it seemed nice and juicy.

"Sounds good. I love lemons too.", Jack confessed.

"Really? You do?"

"Well, yeah. How do you think I coped all those lonely years?"

"Oh Jack! I'm so happy to find someone that understands! This one time, I got Amy and Rory to try one and they said it was downright disgusting", he complained while ever so cutely tugging at his bow tie in frustration . Jack just wanted to grab him and have his way with him there and then but he settled for reassuring the rather childish 935-year old.

"Don't worry", the ex-time agent said soothingly, "They haven't been around as long as us. They've never been as lonely as us. They would never understand."

"I'm just glad to know that it's not just me that enjoys them, you know?"

"Well, I promise", Jack said as solemnly as possible, "I'll always be here for you as long as I live". Okay, he inwardly snorted at the 'as-long-as-I-live' part (immortal, remember?), but the Doctor didn't seem to notice.

"Aww! Thank you Jack! In fact, do you want to have a lemon with me?"

"Whaat?"

"You. Me. Lemon. Honestly Jack, it's not all that complica-"

"Are you serious?" Jack blurted before he could stop himself. He had dreamed of this moment ever since he had met the Doctor. And now his rather perverted fantasies were about to be fulfilled.

"Yes. I love lemons and there's no other person I'd rather share one with than you."

Jack blushed a bit at this but the Doctor didn't seem to notice and continued to talk about lemons.

"In fact Jack, I think I might love them as much as I love bananas! Mmmm...that sour taste."

Now Jack was getting a bit suspicious. "Doctor? What kind of lemon are you referring to?"

The Doctor was getting confused by at this point. "Ummm... the yellow fruit kind?" offered innocently while pulling out the aforementioned fruit out from behind his back, "Why, is there another kind? Is it as good as-"

Jack didn't hear the rest. He was too busy banging his head against the wall.


End file.
